open

24 Jan

when the wick has burned to char
may mine be called
a life eyes open

© 1.24.11

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27 Responses to “open”

  1. Old Egg January 24, 2011 at 12:16 pm #

    Not only eyes but mind too.

    Great poem.

    • redchair January 24, 2011 at 1:38 pm #

      eyes = mind = heart = awake = aware

  2. Rhyme Me a Smile January 24, 2011 at 4:02 pm #

    Great poem! I really do hope people will say that about me when I pass, because I strive for it every day. If I planned to have a tombstone, I might get that etched into it! (I make candles and feel that makes it apply to me even more… even though the poem really has nothing to do with candles.)

    My pantry poem: Be More Gay

  3. Amity January 25, 2011 at 12:31 am #

    short and sweet…

    is this for quagmire?

    amity

  4. vivinfrance January 25, 2011 at 1:25 am #

    I love little poems that say a lot. Bravo.

  5. booguloo January 25, 2011 at 3:56 am #

    No harm in that.

  6. Strummed Words January 25, 2011 at 4:14 am #

    Nie to be remembered for eyes wide open.

  7. Lisa January 25, 2011 at 8:37 am #

    “a life eyes open”

    Perfect!

  8. ms pie January 25, 2011 at 10:29 am #

    buuuuu teeee fuuuuhllll leeee spoken… funny how we all want something even in death…

  9. RepressedSoul January 25, 2011 at 2:05 pm #

    Wishing that the candle was lit from the char to the chair…a life lived with eyes wide open 😀

  10. Laura Hegfield January 25, 2011 at 2:06 pm #

    perfection!

  11. Monkey Man January 25, 2011 at 2:17 pm #

    I love the simplicity that lives within your words. Eyes. Mind. Heart. Yes.

  12. brian January 25, 2011 at 2:21 pm #

    nice…i want mine a life with eyes wide open as well…nice one shot.

  13. Gay January 25, 2011 at 7:11 pm #

    Well this was simply said. After reading all the words in the Book of the Dead, life might be lived with eyes open and writing of journeys for the life of the dead. Fascinating. Even in death their eyes painted wide open.

  14. chrisd January 25, 2011 at 10:05 pm #

    You must love words like I do. You can use them to write this note or a grocery list or scribble something that your insurance carrier told you.

    Your words were poetry. Lovely, simple and pristine.

  15. Crystal Jigsaw January 26, 2011 at 5:46 am #

    Simplified beauty in your words.
    CJ

  16. Andreas January 26, 2011 at 7:19 am #

    This piece has a kind of wholeness about it that I like.
    Nicely written.

  17. Eric January 26, 2011 at 9:24 am #

    You could always light both ends – that should open your eyes plenty! (LOL!) Nice piece.

  18. jessicakristie January 26, 2011 at 10:34 am #

    Powerful! ♥

  19. pamela January 26, 2011 at 11:06 am #

    Concise and well said.

  20. randallweiss January 26, 2011 at 8:09 pm #

    I’d like to see the wick metaphor drawn out more. Maybe make it a 5 line poem instead of 3 lines. 😉

  21. Steve Isaak January 27, 2011 at 11:49 am #

    Almost perfect poem (I had a quibble with one of your word choices in the end-line), excellent.

  22. Joann Nelander January 27, 2011 at 5:36 pm #

    Wrapping up a life in a few words, well done!

  23. heather grace stewart January 27, 2011 at 6:04 pm #

    Love it–succinctly says everything.
    Your blog is clean and simple too-nice!

  24. Tumblewords January 28, 2011 at 3:26 pm #

    Exquisite!

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